A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS
* Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like: "You know, sometimes I forget to eat.
" Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat.
You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
* A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.*
She had 14 kids, but she doesn't give a damn.
* They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies.*
Mine isn't all that communicative, but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the
six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen bitch ... do it and die."
* The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)*
* I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying,
and driving too fast.* Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
* I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
* "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?" This joke is from the collection at www.armenianbusinesses.com/features/jokes
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